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Jumat, 09 Maret 2012

A Successful Arranged Marriage


How we met

I was raised to have a very humble nature, so I trusted my parents. All the decisions they made for me were in the interest of my future and my happiness. Therefore I let them decide, and they arranged my marriage. My husband came once to see me, but I did not notice him. I only saw him on our wedding day; I first spoke to him on our wedding night.

How I Did It:

I remember when I first talked to him, I told him that I wear hijab. He was a little upset and said, 'Your parents didn't mention it.' So I told him, "Now is the time for you to decide if you still accept me or not, because I wear hijab in obedience to Allah's order. Therefore I can't remove it for the sake of a human.' He really got worried about my answer, and asked me, 'Why you say it like this?' I told him that if we're going to start a new life, I don't want to start it by disobeying Allah. I said, 'After marriage I will be your wife so I can't lead you in a wrong direction.' After that he really appreciated me.

Advice

  • For this kind of marriage, you really need a lot of patience and understanding. We were raised in totally different environments, so our thinking and lifestyles were totally different. We didn't know each other's ideas or needs, and it takes time. Both should have patience. Please, my dear sisters and brothers, spend time listening to your spouse, and please take care of your Islamic knowledge before you think about marriage. Because if you build your life on Islam it will never go wrong.

Was yours an arranged marriage?

Yes, mine was arranged by my parents.

Did you "date"? How did you get to know each other?

We didn't.

What qualities were you looking for in a spouse?

Patience, understanding, and respect.

Did you have any difficulties?

A lot at the start, but we overcame them. Now we are happy.

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